PJ Harvey is not helping.

So right now I feel as if people are forever letting me down, ever since, always will. I don't know if maybe my expectations are too high or that simply I don't cultivate healthy enough relations with people to promote this "let's not fuck over haiyan today, because it's been so shit for her, hasn't it?" behaviour that friends are really expected to exhibit.

I have had a horrible night. It started out well enough after seeing Pride and Prejudice, but then getting out of the theatre at 7pm was a problem because I'd promised to arrange some movie slash dinner thing. Shit I hate arranging events, let me count the ways. And I felt as if I'd been pressured into doing it, when all I wanted was a quiet evening watching the 13th Floor. I'm in love with quiet evenings now, been trying to find one for a good 3 weeks without success.

There was the driving 30 mins out of the city to drop off my mother and then 30 mins back in to make the dinner happen. Oh but only I was terribly late for everything and the dinner thing got cancelled, for whatever reasons, because Oliver was pissed with me maybe. Who cares anymore. So yeah, I spend an hour driving to and fro and end up having a late dinner with Alex which we could've done somewhere else maybe.

And all I wanted was to see the 13th Floor, hoping against hope that it is not as crap as everyone professes. That I didn't even get to do, because Alex wanted to see Wing Commander and though I could've settled for that, I wasn't willing to wait the extra half hour.

Some other friends ditched. I don't know where they are. They were meeting us but somehow never made it in.. and of course no call. And of course I didn't call.

In the end, none of the evening's initial goals were met and I'm not the nonchalant sort who just enjoys the process. Fuck the process, I want to see the 13th Floor, alone.